arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
