worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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