So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
