i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
