Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
