Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
