Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
