This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize