Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
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