I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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