Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
