His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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