im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
