he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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