My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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