Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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