Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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