All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
