Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
