Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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