we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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