oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
