I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
