Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
