HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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