awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
