She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
