help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize