2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
