Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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