In the future we'll all be gay
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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