in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
