so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
How's work?
Spinning.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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