the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
