That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
