There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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