I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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