He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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