But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
