remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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