JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize