summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
