Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
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