Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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