Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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