Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
