i need an iv and a liver transplant
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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