real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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