Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
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