I should be sponsored by Trojan
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
