just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
