dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
why didn't you poke me back
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize