Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I need to sanitize my soul.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
