did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
