My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
