Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
