i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
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