Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
