when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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